My upcoming move has presented a lot of opportunities for people to tell me they will miss me. People who I had assumed were on the periphery of my social circle suddenly seem to be in a panic that I am leaving. Strangest of all, the acquaintances and friends that I do fully enjoy yet never seem to see have even resorted to bribery to keep me in Phoenix. “I’m going to miss you so much!” they all say. I’m touched and appreciate the sentiment graciously, however, I don’t quite get it. These people see me but once or twice a year, if that. If you feel so strongly about the inability to spend time with me, why haven’t you?
I don’t intend to sound condescending here. These are people I care about and I’m glad my presence has made an impact in their lives. It does make me realize though, how often we put off spending time with those we love and enjoy. I often have free time with nothing to do. It would be so easy for me to pick up the phone and call someone I haven’t seen in a while. What stops me? What’s stopping you?
Everyone else is busier than I am. That’s my excuse, anyway. Most of my friends are now married and have families and busy careers. I fell out of the habit of the spontaneous lunch or evening coffee with my friends because I got turned down too many times. Now I just assume that I can’t ask Jane to lunch because she’s always busy. And Jane? She may have had to turn me down nine times, but I’m sure she still wants to feel like she’s important. Maybe that tenth time, she’ll say yes.
It makes me realize how little time we actually spend with face to face interaction. Now that my time in Phoenix is drawing to a close I feel like I want to cram quality time in with dozens of people. I should have been spending quality time with them all along.
Here’s an invitation for you. Scroll down your email contact list or Facebook friends and find that person that you always enjoy spending time around, yet you haven’t seen in too long. Call them, email them, tell them you miss them and would like to see them. Don’t leave it vague though, actually set a date and do your best to stick to it. I bet you’ll have an amazing time reconnecting.